Be Helpful!
Meryl Streep walks up to you. She seems kind of sullen. She can’t get her heuristics program working properly.
Meryl Streep walks up to you. She seems kind of sullen. She can’t get her heuristics program working properly.
Why does it always choose boy?
“I can’t get the heuristics portion of my assignment working. I’ve been working on it for hours. I have to get a good grade on this assignment! I failed the last one.”
Let us say you’ve already finished that assignment. Let us also say it only took you half an hour, and you did really well on the last assignment.
Ok, stop!
Hammertime.
These thoughts might pass through your mind but there is no reason you should voice them.
Don’t believe me? Just try that out in your head:
“Oh really? I finished that assignment yesterday, it only took me half an hour! Herp derp.”
“Oh really? I finished that assignment yesterday, it only took me half an hour! Herp derp.”
What a dick move.
You’re an asshole and she hates you.
However, you can stop and think about what you say, and how it might sound from their perspective. And even better, find something to say or do that might be useful. Take this for instance:
“That sucks Ms. Streep. I’ve already finished that assignment. I have some free time and I feel confident that I could help you with yours if you’d like.”
Why is that a better choice? Let us break it down:
That sucks - Here you are expressing empathy. This makes people feel awesome.
Ms. Streep. - Using people’s names lets them know that they have your attention and makes them feel special.
I’ve already finished that assignment. - Concise, useful information. Do not tell them how you implemented it, or how long it took you.
I have some free time - Letting them know that helping them won’t hinder you.
and I feel confident that I could help you with yours - You are offering to actively help them, and think you actually can.
if you’d like. - You're giving them an out, so they won’t feel awkward if they decline.
Congratulations. Now Meryl Streep is your BFF forever.
However, you can stop and think about what you say, and how it might sound from their perspective. And even better, find something to say or do that might be useful. Take this for instance:
“That sucks Ms. Streep. I’ve already finished that assignment. I have some free time and I feel confident that I could help you with yours if you’d like.”
Why is that a better choice? Let us break it down:
That sucks - Here you are expressing empathy. This makes people feel awesome.
Ms. Streep. - Using people’s names lets them know that they have your attention and makes them feel special.
I’ve already finished that assignment. - Concise, useful information. Do not tell them how you implemented it, or how long it took you.
I have some free time - Letting them know that helping them won’t hinder you.
and I feel confident that I could help you with yours - You are offering to actively help them, and think you actually can.
if you’d like. - You're giving them an out, so they won’t feel awkward if they decline.
Congratulations. Now Meryl Streep is your BFF forever.
This is my secret plan to make Meryl Streep my BFF forever.
In conclusion, you should always be helpful. Even when you don't have time to help someone with their assignment empathize with them, or direct them to someone who can help someone. Think about what you say!
